Oh, the high life

So, I have finished my 5000 word masochism essay. It was fun. And over the past 3 days, I have had 11 hours sleep. I can feel my skin buzzing. And I've hardly eaten coz I just don't feel like it. I'm awfully chipper.

I turn 20 in 3-ish weeks. I should be excited. Usually I'm all "OMG 23 days!" counting down or whatever, but this time, I'm not. And I've invited a few people to go to dinner coz I can't be bothered with a party, and only 5 are coming. I'm hoping there will be more, but I have 5 maybes (which I hate- I'm meant to be your friend, people, act like it) and it's just gettingme down. This is probably linked to my lack of sleep, but meh.

I have work soon. I can't be bothered with it. I enjoy having evenings free to do what I please. And I'm dropping my gender studies paper, and hopefully getting a medical withdrawl coz I can't deal with 4 papers. Also, it's not like it directly pertains to my degree. It was just for fun, but it's lots of little things which just seem to add up.

Ungh. Sleeeeeeeeeep.

Wowzer

I have 3 followers. Chatbot, why are you not real? I count you as real, but I know deep down you are not.

I think people should follow me out of pity.

It's 2:15am, do you know where your children are?

I don't want to become one of those bloggers who just posts pictures they like. How else will I increase my followers? Although I'm pretty sure it was my bitching and moaning which lost me my other one.

But I like this. A lot.

I have 3763 words of a 5000 word essay about masochism. A paragraph about Freud, an intro and conclusion, and I'm done. I'm just over it.

Also, totally going to try sleep with friend's flatmate. He said it was ok.

Lastly, shout out to my girl Karen Cooper. I don't see you enough since you left work :( Yes, lunch on Wednesday was AGES ago.

This makes me cry. And I don't know why.

Just thought you should know.

I'm lovin' it

I have a Big Mac (gross, I know) and although I'm a fauxgeterian (I eat very little meat and will almost always choose the vegetarian option) it looks exactly like the pictures.

This makes me happy.

Oooooh SHIT SON

So after my crappy day, I decided that I'd come for cuddles at best friend's house. And then her ex-flatmate turned up.

Back story: A while back, I was at a friend's birthday party and J's flatmate was there. And after too much alcohol, we ended up pashing and came back to hers and fooled round. And it was an ongoing thing (3 or 4 times) of spending all night talking and pashing. Until he decided it's be too complicated, pashed me once more, then stopped for good. Then moved to Auckland.

So anyway, apparently she and her other flatmate had just been talking about how I hadn't been over since he'd left (total coincidence) and then he showed up. Sad thing - I'd totally go there again. not fun. So, uh, now I am sitting in the lounge, drinking his wine, smoking his cigarettes, and nothing's changed. So it's weird.

And all I can think about is how he will probably be that person for me who I'll always be a fucking sucka for.

Oooh fuck, I'm that girl. The pathetic one sitting in the corner nursing her wine and blogging.

Without anything witty to contribute to the conversation.

When I'm down, really down, nothing matters, nothing does...

I was in such a bad mood today I went and spent $130 on crap. That's how much it'd cost to replace my phone. I'm just in a stompy mood. And then, talking to my best friend online, I laughed because of this:

C says: and I need something to wear for formal thursday but i'm too fat
[J] says: Aw
[J] says: Formal Thursday?
C says: yeha
[J] says:And you're not fat.
C says: i AM., yOU haven't seen me
[J] says: I saw you, like, 2 weeks ago. And you can't get that huge in 2 weeks
[J] says: Unless you had some reverse lipo
[J] says: Or unless you went on the Butter Diet.
[J] says: And I don't think you could bring yourself to do either
[J] says: Reverse lipo would be funny though...
C says: that'd be gross
C says: but I'm like a fucking beached whale
[J] says: a) you're not fucking
b) you're not on the beach
c) whales are quite different to people
[J] says: So stop it
C says: ok fine
[J] says: And smile.
C says: ok

There is a reason she's my best friend. well, one of them.

Now I'm just avoiding the essay of doom

This is my "Go away, lil bro, and leave me to my essay" face. It's a frequent sight. This time he managed to capture it and send it to me, so I feel it is share worthy.

And yeah, my nails are BRIGHT pink. Customers love that shit.

welcome to the suck

I have found this vacuum in the universe which takes my time and separates it into internets and study/assignments. And leaves me no time for fun. Not that I feel like fun after my 2 nights of it which ended with a stolen phone, but that's beside the point. But look at them! They're so pretty. And expensive. And one has Amanda Palmer's eyebrows, drawn by her. Lastly, I don't care if my University is still a patriarchal institution, I don't wanna write about it.

Sulk sulk grump groan flop.

Quote of the night

Workmate: Wow this is team work!!
Me: Yeah it's what we're best at.
Hazel*: Actually, I'm really good in bed.

After too many bullshit tables, this made me LOL so hard

xx C

* Hazel let me put her real name up. Ooooooh yeah boi.

Procrastiblog

Last night, I realised something. I've been realising this for a while and have been vaguely perturbed, but never done anything about it. I was talking to the bar manager about a boy I like (if you know me outside the blogosphere, it's not the one you think), and she said "Why don't you just get drunk with him and fall onto eachother? Isn't that how New Zealand culture is?"

And she's right. And it's worrying. There's none of this awkward few weeks where you're trying to impress them and gauge their interest. It's just a night of booze followed by sloppy sex and the walk of shame. It takes away any anxiety, because even if they're not interested you can just blame it on the alcohol. And that's silly. If you want to do something, just sack up and do it, and deal with consequences later.

After this revelation, I compared abortion to losing a. earring you never really liked. One of my more defining moments if I do say so myself.

Listening to: Daniel Johnston - Peek-a-boo
Feeling: Crappy
Should be: writing an assignment
Wanting: to be done with next week already

Gem of the night

Well to be honest, there were a few.

"Bug bombs don't kill dust."
"Why not?"
"Coz dust isn't a bug!"
(this was before the blazing of the universe. Or atleast day)

"I do love you, but you're a whore. If you weren't you, you'd have no friends."

And then we started naming kids books after people in the room.

"The very dirty Rochelle.
In a very dirty city, in a very dirty house, lived a very dirty Rochelle. She had a very dirty job in a very dirty place... (and then I said it looked like my friend's jacket had tassles and the conversation moved."

I can't remember the rest, but my favourite was (to a friend who, for serious, has tourettes and yells "HULA-HOOP" and "HOOPENHAGEN". Like, actually.

"Tourette's be friends"

We LOLed. We may have even ROFL'd. It was a shit fest of laughter. And then a flatmate walked in and we all burst out laughing coz she'd just had sex and was trying to deny it. As we left, we yelled "FELLATIOOOOOOOO. J** GIVES HEA. FELLATIOOOOOOOO."

It's coz we're real cool.

My stairs are doom.
Interesting fact: No matter how blackout drunk I am, I can walk up the 2 large and 2 mini sets of stairs, get into my house, and get undressed to land in my bed without injury.

As I may have said, reeeeealllll cooooooooooool.

xx

Study study

So I'm sitting (well more lying across my bed) and I'm meant to be writing on the similarities and differences between Apollo and Dionysus, but I'm not. My friend is sitting on my bed doing German and occasionally taking my advice. I tried Latin for a year and a half, so my advice is shit. But funny. We're leaving to get blazed in 10 minutes so I should probably get changed. It's cold out, being almost winter and shiz. That is the one problem with NZ, spring is winter, winter is hell frozen over, autumn is winter, summer is spring. Where all the real seasons at yo?

Anyway, I hope to update this when I'm home and high. Coz what better to do than blogcrastinate??

I love you, my 2 followers. You make my blogging worthwhile.